Always Her
by Ariesgirl666
Summary: In honor of Pyrrha Nikos. From Jaune's perspective, going back and forth from his memories to present-day. (Takes place after the death of Pyrrha and before the end of the episode.) RIP, Pyrrha. This made me cry writing this, and there is a good chance it will do the same for you. Warning: Spoilers and a lot of heartbreaking stuff. Rated T for character death and major grief.


ALWAYS HER

 ** _Rip, Pyrrha Nikos. We love you._**

 ** _"_** ** _For it is in passing that we achieve immortality."_**

 ** _I own nothing. All the characters as well as the stupid-ass decision to kill Pyrrha belong to RoosterTeeth._**

He was an idiot, and he was weak.

Jaune Arc sat with his back to the wall, eyes closed. _What the hell was wrong with him?_

She had been in front of him the entire time, and he had gone chasing after Weiss.

Jaune closed his eyes picturing Pyrrha –Pyrrha, with her brilliantly red ponytail and big doe-green eyes, Pyrrha with her always strong, always determined warrior stance. Pyrrha's soft, sweet voice. Far too gentle for a warrior of her caliber. The way Pyrrha tilted her head when she looked at him, like there was nothing she would rather do than listen to him speak.

He was an _idiot_.

 _Screaming as he fell uselessly from the sky at his initiation before something came out of nowhere and pinned him to a tree. It was a perfect shot too, didn't even pierce his clothing, just through the straps of his armor.  
Looking up to see, in the very far distance, the brilliant red hair. Taking a few seconds to remember the girl he'd met on his first day there, the tall one._

 _Calling out, "Thank you!" and hearing a soft, but clear reply of "I'm sorry!"_

"Jaune? You have to eat something." His oldest sister stood on the staircase, worry evident in her eyes.  
"I'm not hungry," he replied.  
"Please, Jaune. We're worried about you."

"I'm going out," he said. She put out a hand to stop him but he shrugged it off before going down the stairs.

Two of his other sisters looked up.

"Jaune –" one started.

He ignored her.

"Jaune!" The younger of the two said sharply. "Come and eat something, right now."  
Jaune ignored her as well, shutting the door behind him as he left.

 _"_ _That's what I like about you. When we met, you didn't even know my name. You treated me just like anyone else. And thanks to you, I made friendships that would last a lifetime. I guess you're the kind of guy I wish I was here with. Someone who just saw me for me."_

 _Jaune looked at Pyrrha, stunning in her long red dress. As always was when she spoke, her voice was as clear as her green eyes, and honesty was apparent in her tone._

 _She couldn't have meant that she liked him like that though. That would have been awkward. Besides, he liked Weiss._

 _But he did love how everything that came out of Pyrrha's mouth was true. And the pure clarity of her voice._

Jaune opened the black gate, not even flinching at the cold metal, as Pyrrha's sweet laugh echoed in his ears.

 _The surprise in her wide, brilliant green eyes as he took her hand and pulled her into a dance. The shock of laughter as she said his name –"Jaune!" that made up for the stiffness of white tulle._

 _That kind of perfect harmony that comes very rarely when battling or dancing, as the warrior princess and the boy in a dress drew all eyes._

 _The warm feeling of Pyrrha's back under Jaune's hand, and the excitement that thrilled through both of them only magnified by Nora's squeals and Ren's reluctant smile._

His sneakers crunched on the snowy grass, melting off in places, as he walked to the place that he knew by heart.

 **IN HONOR OF PYRRHA NIKOS**

 **HUNTRESS, WARRIOR, FRIEND, AND MEMBER OF TEAM JNPR**

 **WHO GAVE HER LIFE IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAVE HER WORLD**

 **BODY NOT FOUND**

Jaune crouched by the fiery huntress's grave. "I'm sorry, Pyrrha."

 _The pair ran out of the chamber, everything Jaune had just seen replaying in his head. Pyrrha and that other girl in those chamber things, Ozpin, and that woman in the red dress who killed the other girl._

 _Pyrrha screaming as the woman was surrounded with a kind of brilliant red light, before breaking out of the chamber._

 _Ozpin ordering her to go, as the warrior half-lifted Jaune up and the pair ran._

 _They stopped outside the school._

 _Jaune immediately tried to call Glynda –they had left Ozpin to fight that woman! And at first he didn't notice Pyrrha turning, staring at the school with a final look in her eyes._

 _"_ _Pyrrha?" he asked hesitantly. She turned to face him. "What was all of that?" he asked in a shaky voice, all traces of Team Leader gone._

 _"_ _I," she began, and she would never lie to him, she couldn't lie to him, this was Pyrrha Nikos, the most honest, beautiful woman in the history of the world. She flicked her green eyes down to her boots, but was interrupted by a shaking from the school._

 _They stared up as the evil woman flew into the sky, flames coming from her hands. No sign of Ozpin. Horror registered on Pyrrha's face._

 _"_ _But…Ozpin," Jaune whispered, because it was futile. It couldn't be true._

 _"_ _There's no time," Pyrrha said in a voice that choked on a sob, even as she looked down so Jaune couldn't see her expression. She lifted her head then, fierce emotion warring on her face. "Go!"_

 _Jaune stared at her incredulously. She continued,_

 _"_ _Get to Vale. And call for help."  
Her tone was harsh, commanding, fighting back a sob. Strong and weak and he hated it –he hated seeing her like this._

 _"_ _Huh? What are you gonna do?" Oh, of course he knew. But she couldn't be that self-sacrificing, that brave._

 _She was Pyrrha Nikos. Of course she could. She turned to gaze up at where they had last seen the woman._

 _"_ _No. No, Pyrrha, you can't." They could solve this together. "You saw how powerful she is!"  
His words had no effect on her. He stepped forward. He would restrain her, knock her out –Jaune didn't know what he could do, but he couldn't –"Pyrrha, I won't let you do"_

 _She suddenly cut him off, grabbing his face in her gloves and pulling it closer even as she leaned in, kissing him deeply._

 ** _Oh my god._**

 _The kiss was anything but sweet or soft. It was ferocious, determined, fierce.  
It was the most beautiful thing Jaune had ever experienced. Pyrrha kept her lips pressed up against his, and of no accord of his own, Jaune kissed her back._

 _Still slightly in shock, he moved his arms so that they wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him and kissing her even more deeply. It was perfect. It was right. It was as if the two of them had been intended, created, just for this moment, and nothing leading up to it mattered._

 _But then she pulled away, keeping her hands on his face and fixing him with a deep green gaze._

 _"_ _I'm sorry," she whispered, one of the first things she'd ever said to him, but this time in a low, choked voice that still managed to be crystal-clear. She put one hand on his breastplate and kept one on the side of his face, tilting his head so that his eyes were fixed on her. He couldn't help but being reminded of when she depleted her own Aura to awaken his._

 _He loved her all along, and he had to tell her. He had to tell her before she ran off and got herself killed._

 _But suddenly, she shoved him forward with her warrior-strength, and he emitted a strangled "Hey!" as he crashed into the open rocket-locker._

 _"_ _Wait! Stop! Stop!" he pleaded. She was going to die. She was going to die while he was sent to safety._

 _One hand gripped the bars of the locker as he imploringly gazed up at her. She walked over to him and stared at him through the bars._

 _"_ _Pyrrha, please don't do this!" He was crying._

 _There was sympathy in her gaze, and apology. But there was also that beautiful determination to set things right._

 _She kept her green eyes on him as he heard the distinctive sound of her typing in a code._

 _She was really going to do it. She was going to send him to safety so she could die._

 _Saying nothing, she stepped back, and all he could focus on was the click of her heels and the clearness of her gaze._

 _The rocket locker took off, and Jaune banged on the metal. Screamed. But it was too late._

 _That was the last time he would ever see Pyrrha Nikos._

"I'm sorry, Pyrrha. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I was always so weak. I'm sorry that I was stupid and that I let you fight Cinder alone. I'm sorry that I was an oblivious idiot ever since I met you. And I'm sorry that I didn't figure out that I loved you right from the beginning, when it was so obvious. I'm so, so sorry."

 _"_ _What?" Jaune stared with blank incomprehension.  
"I'm so sorry Jaune," Weiss said. "Pyrrha's gone."  
"No."_

 _The figure of the white-dressed girl in front of him began to blur as everything in his mind shut down, repeating the mantra over and over._ _ **Pyrrha's gone. Pyrrha's gone. Pyrrha's gone.**_

 _"_ _Is there anywhere you have to go?" Weiss asked in a gentle tone. She reached out a hand to steady him, but he pushed it away without thinking.  
"It was never you!" he screamed at her. "It was never you! It was always Pyrrha! Always her!"_

 _Tears streaked down his cheeks. "Always her," he repeated._

 _"_ _Come, Miss Schnee," called an attendant.  
"I'm so sorry," whispered Weiss, and some more meaningless words that were muted by the screams inside his head._

 _She hesitantly walked away._

 _Yang used her one arm to lift up an unconscious Ruby. There was tearsalt dried on the younger girl's face, and a dead look of nothingness on the blonde's._

 _Blake was noticeably absent, leaving behind only some crumpled, bloodied bandages._

 _Ren and Nora walked up to Jaune. Tears filled Nora's turquoise eyes, and a deep sorrow clouded Ren's magenta ones._

 _"_ _She was very brave," Ren said. "She died protecting us."  
"We shouldn't have needed protecting!" Jaune screamed. "If I had been stronger…" He broke down right there, crumpling to the ground in sobs._

 _His teammates crouched beside him._

 _"_ _She would never have let you," Nora said, her hand on Jaune's shoulder. "Pyrrha i-was determined." She tried to cover up the falter in her voice with a faint, pale smile._

 _"_ _It was my fault!" Jaune screamed._

 _"_ _She loved you," Ren said, his quiet voice cutting through Jaune's sobs. He stared at the Chinese boy. "What?"_

 _"_ _She loved you," Ren repeated._

 ** _Pyrrha's dead. Pyrrha's dead. Pyrrha's dead._**

 _Jaune stood, shoving past Ren._

 _"_ _Call his sisters," he heard Nora order before the rushing in his ears drowned everything else out and he ran._

 ** _Pyrrha's dead. Pyrrha's dead. Pyrrha's dead._**

 _And not just dead. There was no trace of a body. No trace of Cinder. Nothing except for Pyrrha's headdress._

 ** _Gone._**

 _That bitch incinerated her._

 _And it was all his fault._

"It was always you, Pyrrha," Jaune whispered, stroking his fingers along the grave. "I am so, so, sorry."


End file.
